I bought Victor a new circular saw.
I want to be clear: I bought it as a gift. A thoughtful, intentional, "I know you've been eyeing this" (and so have I, because there are so many things I want you to build) kind of gift.
What I did not anticipate was losing my husband to a garage for the foreseeable future. (Well, I guess I didn't lose him completely. I could always follow the loud buzz of the saw if I really needed him.)
Within twenty minutes of unboxing it, he had cut something. I don't know what, or for what. I didn't ask. The look on his face was the look of a man who had found his purpose, and I was not about to interrupt that.
He wasn't in his head, second-guessing himself. He was not worried if anyone was watching him. He was not wondering if he was doing it right, or if someone more qualified should be doing it, or if he should take a course first.
He just picked it up. And used it.
And I stood there, watching this grown man rediscover play, and thought: when is the last time I did something like that?
The Permission Problem
Somewhere between childhood and professional life, most of us developed a habit.
We wait.
We wait until we feel ready. Until we have enough credentials, enough experience, enough certainty that we won't embarrass ourselves. We wait for someone to hand us the metaphorical circular saw and say, go ahead, you've earned it.
In the meantime, we get very good at preparing to do the thing instead of doing the thing.
This is not laziness. The leaders I work with are not lazy. They are competent, thoughtful, hard-working people who have convinced themselves that readiness is a destination instead of a decision.
Victor did not feel ready. He just felt interested. And that was enough.
Capability Is Contact
You do not become better at the work by reading more about the work.
Victor did not become better at using the saw by reading the manual six times. He became better by making a cut, adjusting his grip, making another cut.
Leadership is the same. You do not become a better communicator by consuming more content about communication. You become better by having the hard conversation, noticing how it landed, and doing it differently next time.
Capability is built through contact. Confidence is the receipt, not the deposit. Most leaders have it backwards. They are waiting to feel confident before they take the action that would actually build the confidence.
That wait is the problem. Not the readiness.
The Part Where I Turn This on Myself
I am not above this, by the way.
I have my own circular saws. Ideas I've been orbiting without cutting into. Things I'm reasonably qualified to do that I've been treating as things I need to get more ready for.
The book I just published? I wrote it. But it sat for months longer than it needed to because I kept finding reasons why it wasn't quite ready.
At some point I had to make the same decision Victor made in the garage. Not I'm ready. Just I'm going.
That distinction is the whole thing.
What Are You Circling?
Not the thing you're working toward eventually. The thing you already know enough to begin, that you've been treating as something that needs more time in the planning stage.
Pick it up.
You don't have to feel ready. You just have to feel interested.
I cannot tell you what Victor is building. I'm not sure he'll tell me if I ask. He'll tell me to "relax" and wait until he's done.
But he's building something, and that's the whole point.
If you've been circling something that needs less planning and more contact, that's usually a Blueprint Call conversation. We map what's actually in your way and what the next move is. calendly.com/unapologeticallymichelle
Michelle Odhiambo is a leadership coach and the author of Unapologetically Quiet: Leadership Without the Noise. She works with high-performing professionals who are done performing and ready to lead.